What is the funniest joke you've been told that you still think about to this day?

“Yes, that I am,” says the second.

“Mother Mary. And on what street in Dublin did you live?”

“The Murphy twins are drunk again.”

My religion teacher said that there are no atheists because in order to reject God, you must first have a concept of God, and if you have a concept of God, you are not an atheist. In what way is this true, if at all? Why?

“Oh, let me see now. ’Twas 1964, it was.”

“Faith and begorrah. What a small world. So did I. And to what school would you school would you have been going?”

I’m from Dublin, I am.”

How often do prisoners try to escape from jail/prison, and how many of them succeed?

Two blokes are sitting at the end of a bar. One orders a drink. The other one says, “From your voice, I’d guess you’re from Ireland.”

The first fellow is now beside himself. “The good Lord must be smiling on us. Imagine that the two of us should be meeting here, having grown up on the same street, gone to the same school, and graduated in the same year.”

“Well, to St. Mary’s, of course.”

Two of my family members have recently converted to Islam and have brought shame on my family. How do I get them back into the fold of Hinduism?

“So am I. And from where in Ireland might you be?” says the first.

“A lovely little area of the old part of town, McCleary Street.”

At that point, a woman enters, stands at the other end, and orders a drink. Brian, the bartender says, “Oh, Vicky, it’s going to be a long, tiring night.”

How can I fall asleep fast at night?

“Now why would you be saying that, Brian?”

“As did I,” the first bloke says, getting very excited. “And what year did you graduate?”